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Narcissism: 500 Random and Personal Questions- Page Four
August 2006

301. What was the last thing you paid for?

I stopped at Bristol Farms on the way home from school and picked up some fruit, a filet, a cinnamon roll, some crème frâiche, and a few other odds and ends for my Self-Indulgent Weekend.

302. Are you a coupon clipper?

No. I tried for a while, but it was always for stuff I wouldn’t normally buy, so where’s the savings? I'd rather save the time, thank you.

303. Get anything good in the mail recently?

Always! Between amazon.com and the clothes shopping I do online (because I hate shopping-shopping), there’s usually something new and fun here once a week. Every time I get a box or boxes in the mail, THTM announces “It’s Krimma!” I just got a critical book on Harriet Beecher Stowe, a paperback copy of the first Little Colonel book, a gray beaded cashmere sweater from an online store called Newport News, a whole bunch of fall stuff from Bloomingdale’s online, and a pair of pants from Macy’s online that don’t fit, so I’ll have to send them back. THTM got me a bunch of treats, too. And I got a big box of stuff for mine and Parlance’s Audience Participation Showgirls party from Oriental Trading Company.

304. Which would you rather take as a gym class...dancing, sailing, karate, or bowling?

Dancing. Duh. Karate second.

305. Do you follow the Chinese zodiac ?

I know the signs, but don’t really know much outside of my own and THTM’s: we’re both dogs: “The Dog will never let you down. Born under this sign you are honest, and faithful to those you love. You are plagued by constant worry, a sharp tongue, and a tendency to be a fault finder, however.” Yep, that fits.

306. Do you like reggae music?

No. I can handle small amounts of Bob Marley on a hot summer day, but that’s about it.

307. What makes your life worth it every day?

The journey.

308. Do you seize each day and sink your teeth into it?

Almost always.

309. Who decides what behavior is 'crazy' or 'sane'?

I do.

310. Who are the most inspiring artists, musicians, poets, and writers?

The ones who changed their genres. Poetry was forever different after e. e. cummings and Emily Dickinson. Fiction was forever different after Virginia Woolf and James Joyce. Music was forever different after The Beatles, Janis Joplin, Beethoven and Billie Holiday. Art was forever different after Van Gogh and Matisse and Cassatt.

311. Did anything historically significant happen in the year you were born?

The Kent State shootings. Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix died and The Beatles broke up. And there was lots of Vietnam stuff going on.

312. Besides blowing out birthday candles when do you make wishes?

Stars, eyelashes, throwing coins in fountains.

313. Is it better to be wanted or needed?

Wanted. Being needed creates obligation, which isn’t always good.

314. At what age do you feel it is an appropriate to lose one’s virginity ?

Depends on the person, of course, but generally, at least 18. I regret losing mine at 16. Sex and high school don’t make a good combination, and plus, I’m pissed I capitulated on something that was important to me. Some people should wait until they’re much older and more mature, though. I don't know of anyone who says "Man, I wish I'd lost mine sooner!"

315. Do you feel that the appropriate age for girls and for boys is different?


316. Are you a hard person to get to know?

No, not consciously.

317. What is the craziest thing you have ever done out of anger?

Threw a telephone into the wall. I’d just been dumped by DumbAss, and, for the first time, I called a friend because I was hurting and needed to talk to someone. My charming ex-best friend, The Sycophant, told me how selfish and evil I was for being upset, berated me for not remembering that she was diabetic and going blind (again), and that she and our other best friend/my then-roommate hated me. (And then, when I got upset and started crying, she recorded me and then called DumbAss and my roommate and played it for them… which is a super-nice thing for a friend to do… fucking your friend’s ex mere days/weeks later notwithstanding.) I was hysterical when I finally hung up on her, and then yanked the phone out of the wall and heaved it across the room. Her deliberate cruelty, dishonesty and selfishness was beyond the pale.

Luckily, she got what she deserved for it: she got DumbAss.

318. What's the MOST annoying sound you can think of?

Screaming kids.

319. What's the silliest vegetable you can think of?


320. Do you believe in love at first sight?

No. You need to know someone to truly love them.

321. What do you see when you turn out the light?

Whatever my imagination feels like conjuring up. When I was little, I used to see a nightly repertoire of dancing pinpoint lights in various colors and patterns.

322. Do you like jazz, blues and/or swing music?

All of the above. I’ve got quite a stash.

323. Do you prefer gold or silver jewelry?

Silver or platinum.

324. In what ways do you want your children to be like you?

Ambitious, intellectually curious, open-minded, liberal.

325. In what ways would you want your children to be different from you?

I wouldn’t want them to be passive, weak or easily cowed, or unquestioningly traditional in terms of gender.

326. What was the scariest movie you've ever seen?

Poltergeist . In the theatres. Which should tell you how long it’s been since I’ve seen a scary movie. I get easily freaked out, and don’t enjoy being scared in the least, so add “scary” to “movie” and there’s something I have no interest in whatsoever. For, like, fifteen YEARS after that movie, I couldn’t sleep with my closet door open. *shudder* So yeah, I’m sure Silence of the Lambs is a great film and all, but I won’t be watching it.

327. What was the funniest movie you've ever seen?

Waiting for Guffman. Saturday Night Fever. The Jerk. Deconstructing Harry. Office Space. This is Spinal Tap. Airplane!

328. What was the worst movie you've ever seen?

The Grinch , and the three latest Star Wars movies.

329. What is one question that no one can ever truthfully answer 'yes' to?

“Am I a truly good/unselfish person?”

330. Is there more to this world than human beings can perceive?

If anyone thinks there isn’t, they are retarded.

331. If matter is neither created nor destroyed then is it possible that you are made up of molecules that once made up Gandhi or Jesus or Einstein?

Or Hitler or Pol Pot or- We always carry with us, in some way, literally as well as figuratively, the seeds of our past. Of course, we’re more than “this crude matter,” to get all Yoda on y’all’s asses.

332. Some say that high school is the best time of your life. Was that true for you?

No, but I thought it was supposed to be. I had an asshole stepfather telling me everything I did was wrong, and I’d just come from an exalted elementary school and Jr. Hi. career as the Class Loser. So, using my mom’s stories and my collection of YA paperbacks/Sweet Valley High and my knowledge of girls on TV and what everyone said, I set out to have the Bestest High School Life EVER! At Hypocrite High (with a student body of 98), I was a cheerleader. I was one-half of “Cutest Couple!!!” I worked on the school paper and made ASB and spent an hour every morning with makeup and hot rollers and was active and involved and bright and bubbly and perfect and-

Funny. That wasn’t the magical formula.

It wasn’t the worst time in my life, but it sure wasn’t the best, either. I wasn’t me yet.

333. What do you find yourself encouraging others to try ?

Getting a fucking education.

334. Which is better: Mel Brooks or Woody Allen?

Woody Allen. A shame he’s such a deplorable human being, but innit that the case with many of our artistic genius folks?

335. When was the last time you were up all night?

When we flew to Tokyo. Our flight left at 1AM, and we had to connect through Houston, so it was all honked up for 24 hours.

336. Are people too complex and different to be categorized?

No. I’ll happily make some sweeping generalizations.

337. What fictional story would you like to live through?

The Secret Garden.

338. Are cats or dogs smarter?

Who cares? Cats are better!

339. Have you ever guessed someone's password and broken into their diary?

No. I wouldn’t bother trying, either. That’s just beyond shitty.

340. What teacher, if any, has affected you the most in your life?

I’ve been fortunate enough to have had several… two in community college, one in university, and two in grad school. Including my mentor. I’m still in touch with several of them.

341. Are you more easily bored or excited?

Excited. Life is pretty exciting, it turns out!

342. What's the bravest or most daring thing you have ever done?

Started over.

343. What do you do only when you are upset?

Shake uncontrollably and cry. When I’m REALLY pissed off, I cry. I hate that… it’s like others use that as a reason to negate your feelings, and it goes in with that whole “hysterical, emotional female” b.s. But, there you go.

344. What's the oddest CD in your collection?

Okay, considering my CD collection…? Well, if we limit it to only actual, physical CDs and not mp3s… I have one that’s all garage bands from Japan in the 60s. I have one called “Hot Nuts and Lollipops” that’s all dirty/sex blues songs from the 1920s. I have a CD of French 60s girl bands. I have about a dozen of French cabaret music from the 1920s. I have more obscure German and Japanese electronica than I can count. I have a Rudy Ray Moore Christmas album called “This Ain’t No White Christmas.” I have three different CDs of Laura Ingalls Wilder music. I have one of all bad synthesizer Muzak of The Beatles.

345. What's the best diary name you ever saw?

I don’t read any diaries except for a couple friends’, so, sorry, Parlance, but I’ll have to go with Milla’s “But I Digress….”

346. What would your friends be surprised to learn about you?

That, for, like, years, I wanted my hair to look just like the girl in the “Sister Christian” video.

347. Who owes you an apology?

A couple people, like My Dumb Dad, but my life doesn’t hinge on waiting for that to happen. It wouldn’t make a difference if it did.

348. Who deserves an apology from you?

The ex-friend I sent the nasty letter to. That was the last time I ever deliberately tried to hurt someone, and I’m still sorry for it.

349. Who would you like to receive a thank-you card from?

Some of my former students.

350. Who would you send a thank-you card to?

Whoever invented Rice Krispies Treats.

351. Which do you like best: 60's, 70's or 80's fashion?

It ain’t 70s, that’s for damned sure! Actually, 60s, because a lot of what I liked from the 80s revisited 60s fashions. Plus the 60s had hippie stuff.

352. What is the worst pick up line ever used on you?

There were a couple, and both involved the cretins leering at my breasts. And then there was the skeezy guy who kept coming into the bookstore where I worked and inviting me out for coffee so I could “read his manuscript.” “No” didn’t seem to faze him, nor even, “Sorry, but I don’t have time to read manuscripts, and if I did, I’d be working on my own.” My manager finally had to tell him to quit bugging me. The most recent was a completely drunk guy outside the concert who started walking around me, looking me up and down and making “uh HUH” sounds before announcing “I like me the big wimmins.”

And I turned to my friends and said, “Kill me. Now.” (Although, admittedly, "I like me the big wimmins" has turned into quite the fun catchphrase!)

353. Do you own a record player? Do you use it?

Yes and yes. Medusa has a regular turntable, but I also have an old scratchy one for playing my grotty old albums I stole from Gram. I usually crank it up at Christmas, ‘cos I have some spectacular Krimma records.

354. How easily do you make friends?

Now that I trust my instincts and first impressions? Very easily.

355. What is the difference between having character and being a character?

Being yourself for you, versus performance for others.

356. Are there any animals you flat out refuse to touch?

I’m not fond of touching snakes or other creepy-crawlies.

357. Have you ever wanted to date twins?

That may be one of the stupidest questions ever.

358. What one thing would you change about high school if you could ?

Its existence. Instead, everyone would have to go to pre-college tutorial sessions, various self-esteem building courses, and work together in small groups and in a variety of career-oriented part time jobs until they went to college.

359. If you came with a warning label, what would it say?

This Windows version not support.

360. Are you artistic and creative?

In minor ways. I have a good eye for putting stuff together, i.e. Foofing. I’m good at combining things, be it foods or music playlists or just a bunch of stuff on a tabletop. I love to write fiction, but am hopeless when it comes to plot. I’m useless with things like poetry. I can’t draw anything; even my stick figures are all unintentionally well-endowed men.

361. What were you (probably) doing on this date last year?

Studying for class.

362. What are you obsessed with?

Right now, it’s with collecting/reading certain books… mostly turn-of-the-century girls’ series. See the aforementioned Jean Webster. I’ve also recently gone on a music-from-the-Rum-Runner-era-of-Duran-Duran tear, and am listening to stuff like Japan and Ultravox and YMO in new contexts, as well as some new (for me) stuff like Eno and Lilac Time.

363. What was the last compliment you received ?

The Husband-Type Man told me he loved my smile and sparkly eyes today. He gives the best compliments… they’re so heartfelt and sincere. He often gives me deliberately weird ones, though, too. Recently he said “You have the greatest laugh. It’s like it’s galloping.” Another was, “You’re eyebrows are awesome. They’re like little caterpillars, except they don’t crawl.” Or “You have root-beer-float eyes. Except instead of vanilla ice cream floating in root beer, it’s root beer floating in vanilla ice cream.”

364. Do you push people away when you really want them to come closer ?

No, I got over that many, many years ago.

365. Is a prenuptial agreement necessary or does it take the romance and trust out of marriage?

Depends on the people involved. I wanted to make sure The Husband-Type Man wouldn’t get stuck with the student loans I’d taken out before we got hitched. In many cases, it may involve more trust to have a prenup.

366. Do you lie your way out of things?

No, and I’d feel horrifically guilty if I did. Even so-called “white lies.” Hell, I can’t even lie to myself, even to rationalize crap! It’s a damned good thing I wasn’t raised Catholic; the general Christian guilt I feel over stuff is bad enough.

367. What's the worst thing one of your siblings ever did to you? What's the worst thing you've done to one of your siblings?

Sugie and I used to beat the shit out of each other when we were kids. He’d lock me in a room or chase me with a butcher knife. I’d scratch him with my nails or lock him out of the house. We hated each other.

368. How old were you when you went on your first date?

Almost 16. And, how prophetic… it was with DumbAss, and he took me to a record store, a movie, and a fast-food place.

369. It is common for one's view of authority to develop in their adolescent years. What is your view of authority, and what event most affected it?

That was when I started questioning it. Of course, I had Stepfather Two around, who was intent on being 100% right, 100% of the time, and there was no room for anyone else’s viewpoint. To heck with Ophelia; try Reviving Dwanollah!

370. What "clique" did you best fit in with in high school?

Hypocrite High didn’t really have cliques in the typical sense, but I was friends mostly with the kids who were into New Wave music… you know, MTV and Star Hits magazine and black rubber bracelets… but nothing hardcore. HHS pretty much had the “bible kids” clique (who prayed together a lot and listened to Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith), the “anti-bible kids” clique (whose parents had sent them to HHS, and listened to death metal), and the rest of us.

371. What were your high school goals?

To be a marriage counselor or maybe a high school guidance counselor, and to marry DumbAss and live happily ever after, by which I would prove that I was responsible, mature and successful. I remember at one point in 9 th grade, I even thought I wanted 4 kids! And when I got really daring, I decided I wanted to write YA fiction. Goals like “go away to college” or “travel” or “publish literary criticism” or pretty much anything unconventional weren’t even on my radar screen at the time.

372. Who was your idol when you were growing up? Who did you first fantasize about in your life?

Like, hardcore crush? That’d be My Boyfriend, Simon Le Bon. I knew in my heart of hearts, despite my having waited chastely for him until I was 15, he’d never fall in love with me and marry me. *sniffle* But my love of analyzing his lyrics is what eventually led to my career. See what happens when a 14-year-old Jung-obsessed bookworm gets hold of “a dialogue between the ego and the alter-ego” or “ Union of the Snake”?

373. What is your favorite memory from adolescence?

The nights and summer days I’d spend writing, with what I then deemed “mellow session” music on my stereo. Or 9 th grade dances, maybe.

374. What is your worst memory from adolescence?

Well, there’s all of Jr. Hi. Or Stepfather Two. But, for single, isolated incidents, it was DumbAss’s mother calling me to scream at me about what trash I was and that I was going to get pregnant and ruin her son’s life. Which is awfully funny, considering how things turned out and the numerous phone calls she made to me after he and I split up.

375. Do you have a job? What is it? Do you like it? If no job, where does your money come from?

I’m a full-time grad student, but I’ve also Professed, and will do so again next year. I love my work, obviously, because one doesn’t get into this field if one wants to make a buttload of money at it. Other than grants and loans and stipends this year, which is how most students survive financially, I have a bunch of stocks and investments that provides my income. So does THTM. We both bought stocks and stock options and whatnot over five years ago, making several financial/logistical sacrifices to do so (including me deferring admission to an East Coast Ph.D. program), and, when the company sold last year, we ended up with… well, an embarrassingly hefty earn-out. Thanks to careful budgeting and THTM’s geekiness with stocks and commodities trading, neither of us should have to work for the next thirty or forty years. And after our individual, poverty-tinged childhoods, that’s a fucking amazing feeling.

376. What is something you had to learn that you hated?

In my field? Semiotic criticism. I hate it. Hate hate hate! At best, it makes me feel stupid, and at worst, it drains all the life out of literature for me.

377. Do you tend to save or spend your money? Why?

For the first years we were married, I rarely bought anything. I’m horrible with money, can’t balance a checkbook to save my life, and am hopeless at figuring out percentages, or even how much to leave for a tip. Money is also a very emotional issue for me, dating back to childhood; I fear having it, I fear losing it, I fear managing it, the works. When we both were working and had more income, though, I had a few spending sprees. We both did, individually and together, although we never ever EVER got into financial binds or spent more than we were earning (which is where the “emotional issue dating back to childhood” money stuff comes from). We can kiss off money at a Foof Store or on music or books in a frighteningly short amount of time. We had to have a careful budget, though: only $____ this month, only $____ this year on ____, so I could keep careful track. Now, though? We both go hog-wild, as long as we’re always saving/earning more than we spend. But after years of eating Top Raman and wearing $5 sweatshirts from Ross Dress for Less, being nouveaux riches is awfully fun.

378. What hobbies do you have?

Reading, writing, Foofing, music. Experimenting with food and trying new cuisines. I often do short-term studies on various subjects, too… like getting deeply into 60s political hippie music, or reading everything by Elaine Showalter, or researching Edwardian fashion or Great War-era paintings. I putter around in the garden, pruning and drying herbs. I comb antique stores or junk shops or flea markets for old postcards and photographs and make vaguely-subversive collages of things. I refinish small pieces of furniture. I throw parties. I write some more.

379. Who is your closest friend? Describe them and how you relate to them.

I’m kind of amazed and taken aback to realize that I don’t have one “closest” friend… right now, I can think of over a dozen “closest” friends, each of whom is so special and unique. Weird for the girl who, throughout childhood, usually didn’t have a “best” friend, and, during adolescence, had a few “best friends” who treated me like shit (which certainly wasn’t how I treated them). As an adult, I have numerous “best friends” I treasure. There’s Number One, who I’ve known the longest, and who was the first friend I could be wholly open and honest with. We talked about everything under the sun, and encouraged and rah-rahed each other through some tough and scary times. O Nancy My Nancy and I have been friends for over twelve years; we bonded because we were both young women who intended to marry our high-school boyfriends and, well, there but for the grace of God…. She’s one of the most brilliant people I know; when I say I admire people who are intellectually curious, she’s the poster child. She’s got so many interests and is knowledgeable about such a variety of things. She looks very sweet and innocent in person, but has an absolutely wicked sense of humor… but we also can and have cried all over each other when shit has happened. There’re The Chix; most of us have been friends for close to a dozen years as well. Again, brilliant women… determined, resilient, supportive beyond belief, successful. We have loud feminist debates or disagree politically, but, bottom line, we love, respect and trust each other. Between daily emails, phone calls, and visits, even if one or the other of us gets wrapped up in other stuff, we’re still <cliché mode> there for each other.</cm> There’s Parlance, who (again) is brilliant (you sensing a theme with my friends here?), talented, and hysterically funny. When we hang out, we usually end up howling with laughter over something or another, but we also can go to lectures or film screenings and debate various issues, and rely on each other during emergencies. We’ve only known each other for five years or so, and it feels kinda like we grew up together. And even Bobby, the Slacker Hacker…. For all his Attention Whore act, if either of us really needs anything, the other fawns and fusses all over them. We can tease each other freely, but take each other seriously, too.

After spending the first twenty-odd years of my life with a few friends who constantly put me down, used me, and told me how stupid and/or selfish I was for, you know, wanting to actually be treated like a friend by them, my network of “best friends” is one of the greatest joys and comforts. They aren’t going to constantly berate me in order to make themselves feel better or do other things that, simply put, friends just don’t do to each other. I know that if I need anything – anything – I can call or email any of these friends, and they won’t berate me for being stupid or tell me I suck… they’ll listen, offer advice when needed, and just plain be there. And they know I’d do anything at any given moment for them, as well. We’ve seen it in action more times than one could count over the last dozen years.

380. What bands do you like? Do you even pay attention?


381. Read any good books? What were they?

Well, no shit. I’ve been reading a lot of critical studies on the Restoration, which, while not “good,” are certainly thought-provoking. I just re-read Uncle Tom’s Cabin, which I hate for a number of reasons. Hm. What WAS the last truly good book I read…? Must’ve been something last summer, on the Chocolate Duran Tour. Oh, I know! It was Women of the Left Bank: Paris, 1900-1940.

382. What do you watch on the television?

Not much. My TiVo’s set for a few things. MXC. Monster House. The Daily Show. 90210 reruns. Every month or so, I’ll have a veg-in-front-of-the-telly night if school’s been particularly brutal and I just need to wind down.

383. When it comes to politics, do you care? If so, which way do you tend to vote? If not, why don't you care?

I care, but I’m currently so frustrated and angry that I can’t even bear to hear the news. I vote way left. FUCK the conservative right! Hell, fuck everyone!

384. What type of places do you hang out in with your friends?

Good restaurants, weird restaurants, Chinatown, concerts, coffee houses, our pads.

385. What would be the perfect gift for you?

Anything heartfelt. That’s one of the best things about The Husband-Type Man’s gifts. He doesn’t get me a gold chain or ring or a bouquet of carnations or red roses because that’s what women like/want/expect, or just ask me what I want and then buy it for me…. Instead, he finds wonky and weird things, special things, things that show he knows me and loves me, be it a goldfish, a piece of antique jewelry, or a collection of strange toys and trinkets. He thinks, makes an effort, and shows me he loves me with his gifts.

386. What's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?

The first time we rounded a corner in Florence and saw the Duomo, in person, it just floored us. We actually both staggered to a stop and gasped out loud. But there are other things, like when THTM grins at me with absolute joy and delight, or when The Kidlet comes running to me for a hug, or even just when I see a group of friends and/or family, people I love, together and having fun.

387. What time of day is your favorite?

Sunrise and sunset. Times of transition and movement.

388. What's your favorite animal? Why?

I’m a cat person. See, dogs’ll usually slob over anyone, but when a cat deigns to love you, that’s something you’ve earned! Cats’re more dignified. Plus, purring kitties are the bestest.

389. Do you have any pets? Do you want any pets? What kind?

No, after Mouse died, neither one of us have wanted another pet. I’ve lately had cravings for a cat, but with as much travel as we do, a pet just isn’t realistic.

390. What do you find most relaxing? (Not as in stress relief, but as something that actually calms you down.)

Having my feet rubbed. Baths. Listening to certain music. The sound of the ocean. Talking things out. Naps. Cuddles.

391. What habit that others have annoys you most?

It’s incredibly annoying when someone has to be constantly talking, even if there’s no one to talk to. You know, like, you’re browsing a bookstore, and there’s this person next to you who has to keep up a running dialogue – “Hm, what’s this? This looks good. Wow, he has another book out? I’ll bet this one’s dumb” – and usually you can tell there’s this puppy-dog-like hope that you’re going to respond or acknowledge their comments so they can jaw your ear off. I had a co-worker once who was big on lots of deep sighs and saying “Oh, lordy, lordy, lordy,” waiting to be asked what was wrong or what was up, so he could launch into another 20-minute conversation about nothing. Too needy, thank you.

Actually, most habits that have to do with talking – talking too loudly to friends and/or talking on cell phones, babbling loudly on a quiet train or subway, talking constantly during a show or movie – are annoying.

392. What kinds of things embarrass you? Why?

Appearing stupid. Being in a graduate program both helps (because everyone else has the same anxiety) and hinders (because you’re STILL worried about appearing stupid)! Noisy bodily functions in public are also embarrassing. I’m prone to getting the hiccups. Loud ones.

393. What don't you like about yourself?

Insecurity and anxiety.

394. How would you like to look?

Like someone out of a Harrison Fisher/Howard Christy/Charles Dana Gibson illustration.

395. Would you consider yourself straight, gay, bi, or something else? Why?

Straight. Because I am sexually aroused by penises, not breasts and vaginas.

396. Have you ever had a same-sex experience? Who with, what was it like, and how did it go?

No. Again, I’m not sexually aroused by breasts and vaginas. I also don’t think sexual identity is something to be experimented with, in general. I’m amazed at how many people – again, usually women – are willing to be talked into lesbian experiences because they think it’s a rite of passage or something they need to try, even though they know, deep down, they aren’t truly interested in lesbian sex. What man is talked into “just trying” homosexual experiences in our culture?! (Of course, the women’re usually “performing” for/men in the first place, out of insecurity, but that’s a topic for my Postfem Blather!) Sometimes, too, it’s really, really okay to let fantasies remain fantasies!

397. What is your deepest, most well-hidden sexual fantasy? Would you ever try it?

Most of mine are pretty tame, actually… the deserted island sort of thing. And given a deserted island…? Yeah, I would. I also have some of the standard rape-and-bondage ones, but no, I wouldn’t try those. I’m aware that some of those prolly stem from sexual abuse, so there’s no need to engage them in real life.

398. What was the wildest thing you've ever done, sexually? Who was it with and when did it happen?

Well, I’ve mentioned the toys and the light bondage and all that. Strip Monopoly with a whole bunch of toys was fun. Having sex out on our balcony one night was fun, too. We’ve been to our share of sex stores, too.

I guess the wildest thing, though, would be impulsively having sex with Boy Wonder. It was spontaneous stemming from insecurity, completely irresponsible on my part, self-compromising, and a total mistake.

399. Is there any sexual activity that you will not, under any circumstances, do?
Yeah, again, it’s an exit, not entrance. No threesomes or orgies. No cheating. No “open” relationship. Nothing that would compromise the integrity of our intimacy.

400. What is the perfect romantic date?

Something non-traditionally romantic, relaxing and well-thought-out. Not the “I love sunsets and romantic walks on the beach” bullshit, because really, doesn’t EVERYONE? “Romantic” doesn’t = this sort of typical shit. Everyone does the “one red rose” or “a romantic dinner” or “a box of chocolates and a sexy nightie” crap. Come up with something special and unique and that shows you’ve thought about the person involved!

This is one of the funnest things, as I’ve mentioned, about THTM: he puts so much thought into stuff that even a quiet dinner at home can be as romantic as the time he surprise-kidnapped me to Florence for a long weekend. And part of the fun is that he’s so chuffed with himself for what he’s come up with this time!



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