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Narcissism: 500 Random and Personal Questions- Page Two
August 2006

101. Do you usually feel physically well or unwell?

Well. A little tired and stiff in the neck, as usual, but other than that, very well.

102. Why are there hardly ever any fat people in movies?

Because fat people aren’t as good as thin people. And everyone knows the movies are all about what’s good and right and fun.

103. Are you funky?

Not particularly.

104. Do apologies always make things all better?

No. Saying your sorry means nothing if your actions don’t show it. Or change. Dad.

105. What's the silliest name you can think of?

Jammy dodger.

106. If a cop pulled you over and asked if he could search your car what would you say?

According to my cousin GJ, who’s a cop, I have every right to 1) insist on driving to a well-lit area and/or the police station, and 2) ask to see ID and examine it carefully. If a cop is unwilling to accommodate that, I’d be suspicious and call 911 on my cell phone.

107. What has been the greatest invention so far?

Well, the computer and Internet, obviously. And chocolate.

108. Would you wear a thong bathing suit in public?

I wouldn’t wear ANY bathing suit in public!

109. Hello I love you won't you tell me your name?

I love Missing Persons’ version of that. Dale sounds so cute… like she’s gurgling. And Terry… ah, Terry!

110. If you had to be surgically attached at the hip for two years to either Britney Spears, George W. Bush or an ugly creepy nasty troublesome nice troll, who would you pick and why?

Britney. I’d hope I could help her smarten up, grow a spine, ditch Federshizzle, and bathe on occasion. I’d kill Dubya before the day was up, and have to spend the rest of my life in jail… with his carcass surgically attached to me for two years. Hm. Actually, it might be worth it to be stuck with Dubya. I’d take him to my friends’ Non-Profit Organization for welfare-to-work women, and sic Parlance and Mr. Larry and my MiL on him. THAT would be fun! The thought of a troll in any incarnation is neither appealing nor intriguing.

111. Would you rather be guaranteed to have your dream job or never be heartbroken?

Never be heartbroken. Much as I love my work, I still have expended a lot of anxiety about the potential for heartbreak.

112. Have you thought about death today?

I think about it most days. I’m scared of it. It’s one of my Issues.

113. What is a continental breakfast?

A fancy way of a mid-level hotel serving you shitty pre-packaged muffins and juice from concentrate.

114. Have you ever hit a stop sign or made some other dumb traffic move?

I bumped into the back of Stepfather 2’s truck’s trailer hitch when I was learning to drive. It tore open the bumper on Mommy’s Hyundai, and we discovered Hyundai bumpers are made of… Styrofoam.

115. Are you the life of the party? Do you wish you were?

No and no. I prefer to observe. I find that most people who have to be the life of the party are usually pretty insecure.

116. What places do you get energy from? What places drain you of energy?

Physical places…? I get tremendous energy – and peace of mind – from the ocean or a river or lake… someplace where water is moving. From home, too, with all its coziness and happy places and stuff. Los Angeles freeways, however, completely drain me of energy. Or anyplace crowded, like malls or airports or other public places.

117. Is sex an act of magic?

Yes, it can be, in the “two become one” sense. Sometimes the connections when we’re looking deep into each other’s eyes or kissing are intensely magical.

118. When do you get your most peaceful and satisfying sleep?

With The Husband-Type Man. We sleep all wrapped up together, bundled under our blanket and cuddled up, and it’s the coziest thing in the world.

119. What gets you going in the morning?

Kevin & Bean and hot cocoa or tea.

120. Are dreams messages?

Of course they are, from your unconscious mind. I always spend a few minutes in the morning before I get up thinking over what I’ve dreamed and trying to figure out why/where it came from.

121. How many lovers have you had?

Actual sex partners as opposed to romances? I guess it doesn’t matter, because the answer’s the same: Three.

122. Do you get along better with guys or girls (as friends)?

Girls, I guess. Most of my closest friends are women. There’s no conscious choice about that in terms of gender, though.

123. Is there anything you think we should NOT do?

Unethical and/or immoral things. Don’t steal. Don’t do things that hurt others. Don’t lie. Don’t be shitty.

124. Do you trust your government?

Gads, no!

125. I am now going to ask one of the hardest questions in the history of the universe.... How are you?

As content and happy as a cat in the sun. *knocking on wood* (You’ll notice by that, that I can never take happiness for granted, or as a given.)

126. What promise could you never keep?

Something that required compromising my self or my ethics. Thus, I don’t make promises I can’t keep. And I hate people who do.

127. Was there a time when you were younger and it took less to get you excited? What did it take then? What does it take now?

I don’t freak out as easily as I used to about stuff going wrong.

128. Would you prefer a movie with great character and story or great special effects (don't pick both, that's cheating)?

I fucking hate all the emphasis on special effects in movies. I’ll take character development, thank you.

129. Have you ever experienced culture shock?

Multiple times. I enjoy it, actually; it’s a great learning experience. Not always pleasant, though. Like the racism we witnessed in Namibia. Cold horror, I tell ya, when you can see what possibilities are bubbling right there under the surface. But it was fun in Japan, because it’s obvious you’re a gaijin and you aren’t going to know and understand stuff, and if you ask questions, people are usually happy to explain stuff, and if you can manage to speak even a little Japanese, they’re THRILLED! Man, I thought a couple people were gonna applaud when we’d say “Arigato gozaimasu” or “sumimasen”!

130. Do you ever go to school or work when you feel like you do not look your best? Does doing this effect your whole day?

Yes and no. If I didn’t go out when I wasn’t feeling I looked my best, I’d rarely leave the house.

131. What makes someone a patriot?

Right now, I’m cynical enough to think “ignorance.”

132. What's the most interesting object in the room with you?

I’m in my office, so I’m surrounded by interesting things. I have hundreds of books, an awesome collage of antique photos and postcards, pictures of loved ones, tons of photocopied articles, copies of old magazines like Delineator and Godey’s Ladies’ Book, my weird pencil collection, all my old journals, a Hello Kitty notepad that’s a toaster and pops up toast-shaped papers (I’m not a Hello Kitty fan, but this was so groovy!), my collection of Things I’ve Stolen From Authors’ Houses/Yards – mostly rocks, but a few leaves and twigs and things, too – the Hemingway Shrine, knick-knacks from various Chinatowns, and a bunch of Barbies (unusually for me, still in boxes) that friends’ve given me, like California Girl Barbie, Barbie’s Crippled Friend Becky, Ken’s Gay Boyfriend Steven, and ‘NSync Fan Barbie.

133. Do you believe that everyone who doesn't believe in your religion is going to hell?

No. I think that most religions are various cultures’ manifestations of essentially the same thing: love. Love your God. Love your neighbor as yourself. Try to be a decent human being.

134. What is the best thing about winter?

Winter! I love it, especially snowy and bitterly cold days. So invigorating. When we lived in Milwaukee, I enjoyed those insanely icy-cold morning walks where breathing feels like gulping freezing water. I love thawing out with hot chocolate or tea or a bath, feeling snowflakes melt on my cheeks, and bundling up in coats and scarves and gloves. I love writing or reading on snowy, cold days. I love cuddling with THTM in bed on winter nights. I always feel more alive in winter. Hot weather, on the other hand, makes me feel lethargic.

135. If you don't say what you are thinking isn't that a form of lying because you aren't showing your true self?

To an extent. But what’s more important is behaving in a principled way, so sometimes it’s best to refrain from saying anything instead of being an ass or hurting someone. There’s usually something that doesn’t compromise one or the other, although it may take some time to figure it out.

136. Have you ever looked back at someone you loved and wondered “what attracted me to THEM?”

Uh, yeah.

137. What do you think of Drew Barrymore?

Lispy Potato-face (tm Hissyfit)? I vacillate between hating her and wanting to like her but not.

138. Is there anything you don't do?

Lots of things. Drugs, for one. Threesomes, anal sex, public sex… those things are more about insecurity and power than sexual health and freedom. I don’t smoke. I don’t drink coffee. I don’t eat black jelly beans. I don’t watch those medical surgery TV shows or horror flicks ‘cos they completely wig me out. I don’t hike or jog. I don’t combine fruit and chocolate. I don’t aggro-drive and race people. I don’t go braless in public. I don’t mosh, line-dance or Chicken Dance. I don’t take things for granted.

139. Pick 3 random letters. Now think of the first 3 things that pops into your head that starts with each letter.

K, B, M

  • Kentucky (Damn you, Birmie!)
  • Bollocks
  • Mustard

140. Do you dress more revealing or more covered up?

Covered up.

141. What does it take to be a “real gentleman”?

A feminist perspective

142. Where would you go if you were going somewhere you don't usually go?

Someplace wild and loud and smoky, like a rowdy club or a bar or big party. That’s not my usual thing.

143. Who would you talk to if you were going to talk to someone you don't usually talk to?

An idiot, like a right-wing racist sexist homophobe. I don’t usually have extended conversations with people like that.

144. What would you read if you were going to read a book that you wouldn't usually read?

Prolly chick-lit or sci fi or mysteries or most best-sellers. I never read that stuff. Hell, I don’t read much of anything published after the 1930s, unless it’s criticism. No time!

145. Why don't you try doing you or ever do SOMETHING unusual for you, just to see what comes of it?

I do quite often, actually. That’s what most of my travel adventures and food adventures and education adventures come from.

146. What are your feelings about:

  • Picasso?

Fucking stud. I’ve studied a fair amount of his art, since obviously his work was central to the work of several of my favorite authors. I don’t always LIKE his stuff, but looking at it makes you re-think shape and form.

  • Van Gogh?

He’s responsible for my Fine Art Revelation. When The Husband-Type Man and I first went to the National Gallery, seeing his canvases in person forever changed the way I thought about art. He practically sculpted with paint. Seeing a print of one of his paintings can’t begin to do his work justice.

  • Michelangelo?

I spent one early morning in Florence just sitting in the Loggia as the sun came up, staring at David (and several other statues by various artists). Of course, it’s a copy of David, but still…. I was most fascinated by the hands; because of the perspective, the hands are huge, and it seems to focus not only on the strength and grace that the figure would (ostensibly) use to hurl the giant-killing stone, but just on the build of tension and raw human emotion that would fuel the action in the first place.

  • DaVinci?

Don’t know nearly enough about him, but looking at his compositions of things like The Virgin and Child was how I learned how to read traditional art… like, the triangular composition and where the eye is first drawn to and all that. Some of his drawings were one of the first things I saw at the National Gallery the first time that just amazed me.

  • Einstein?

I know next to nothing about him, but I’m always amused by the pictures of him with crazy hair, wearing bedroom slippers.

  • Tesla?

I hate pussy-rock hair metal. Unless this is supposed to refer to Nikola...?

147. Who else can you think of that made a MAJOR contribution to art or science?

Gertrude Stein.

148. Who can you think of that made a major contribution to modern thought?

Freud and Jung. And Ferdinand de Saussure.

149. Would you ever want to visit Thailand?


150. What culture are you fascinated by?

Most of them. That’s part of the fun of traveling. I enjoy experiencing the different culture just by going to another state or city. I’ve done a fair amount of reading on French culture and Asian – mostly Japanese – culture. And don’t get me started on historical cultures, because if we start talking about turn-of-the-century stuff, I’ll never shut up.

151. Have you ever worn a cape?

Yup. It’s a groovy blue wool one I’ve had for about 10 years. A friend gave it to me for my birthday.

152. What makes you who you are?

My weirdness. My stubbornness and fortitude. My sense of self.

153. How do you search for meaning in life?

“An unexamined life is not worth living” – Plato

That and the eternal quest for knowledge provide meaning. The search itself is the meaning. Deep, huh?

154. You are alone with your lover's diary. What do you do?

Nothing. I wouldn’t read his, any more than he’d read mine. It wouldn’t occur to either of us to, actually.

155. What were your favorite things to do in the yard as a kid?

Set up forts in the brush, either as a secret clubhouse, or for my Barbies or Star Wars action figures. Sometimes me and Sugie and the occasional friend played pretend games, like acting out our versions of Star Wars or something. But I wasn’t a run-around-and-play-games type of kid. I had a great Barbie abode for most of one summer under a huge fern in the front yard. My Sindy doll, Annie, lived there, foraging for berries.

156. Did you ever feel that you were unable to function in society?

Twice, for a very short time, post-DumbAss and post-Boy Wonder, what I think of as my Spring Break in Hades. I just kinda shut down emotionally in order to deal with things. Cancer = hermit crab, sometimes. Not fun. I got kind of agoraphobic and panicky about everything, like if I ventured beyond the safety of my own space it'd feel like I was going to come to Great and Painful Harm.

157. Is it nap time yet?

Yes! I love naps, but it totally fucks up my sleep schedule, so I try to resist them. I’d prolly be at my best in Italy or Spain, where naps are a way of life.

158. Do you like trains?

Yes, as long as they’re clean and not crowded (and no screaming children… like little Michael!). The Bullet Train in Japan was kick-ass.

159. What's in Hungary?

Old churches, art, and stuff like that. And the Danube. I’ll let you know after I visit.

160. Have you ever felt like you were holding someone else back? Has someone ever held you back?

I usually was the one who held myself back. And, of course, DumbAss and I should’ve let go of each other years before we did.

161. What do you think of the term, 'organized religion'?

It makes me break out in hives.

162. What frustrates you?

Stupid people. Not being able to scratch that spot on my back that itches. Shopping. Pokey, bumbly people. Insomnia. Being sick. Busy signals. People who can’t even be honest with themselves, much less others. Indecisiveness. Hiccups. Big trucks and SUVs. Airplanes. Traffic. Having to go to the bathroom when there’s no bathroom available.

163. Where were you the night of... oh hell, last night?

Last night I was hunched over my desk, reading stuff for class and working on a presentation I have to give next week.

164. Do you pronounce the 'er' sound at the end of words (lookER or lookA)?

Yes. I have very careful pronunciation. On occasion, people ask me where I’m from and am gobsmacked when I say “here” or “ Southern California” because I usually speak so properly that they think it’s an accent or something.

165. What’s the best way to learn a new language?

Immersion, where you can both hear it spoken and see it written.

166. Is God in you?

Absolutely. He-She-It is in all of us.

167. Are you in God?

If we are made in the image of God, it stands to reason we are.

168. Do you know which fork to use at a formal table setting?

Yes, you start at the outside and work your way in towards the plate. Dessert silverware is usually above the plate.

169. Who is the most annoying musical artist EVER?

Pee Diddly Do Daddy-O. Has he ever done anything truly original? He’s a conceited ass. Plus he has no chin.

170. If you HAD to go to one of the following concerts, which would it be:

  • Snow
  • Vanilla Ice
  • Milli Vanilli
  • BSB

See, what’s sad about that question is that I HAVE gone to see ‘NSync AND Backstreet Boys. WILLINGLY! HAPPILY!

I still fucking hate New Kids, Vanilla, and Milli Vanilli, though. Not even for kitsch value.

Never heard Snow.

171. Do you believe in manifest destiny?

No, actually I think it’s one of the biggest problems with our country… that attitude that we can move in and take over, physically. Because GOD SAID SO! Yeah! It’s totally fucked up the American Mentality. (This is what happens when you take too many classes dealing with issues of colonialism and imperialism.)

172. Have you ever fallen for an email forwarding hoax (send this to 13 people and old navy will send you a $200.00 gift card)? Do you ever think 'well, maybe...' and actually forward those damn things?

Only once. I signed a petition about gay marriage that turned out to be a hoax. I felt like a tard, too.

173. What does this world need?

Peace, tolerance, and economic stability.

174. Is there anything you do just because you want to even though it has no redeeming social value?

Play with my Barbies. Although, considering the emails I still get from women thanking me for my Blather about my Barbies and how it helped them with their own childhood stuff or just encouraged them to not feel guilty about their own idiosyncrasies, maybe it DOES have redeeming social value!

175. If you drink what kind of drunk are you?

Pathetic. I have half a margarita, and immediately get sleepy, spongy-headed and dumb. This is why I don’t drink.

176. If you have any cousins, are you close?

I love them, but most of us have little in common. They think I’m weird for still being in school and having “all those books.” And I think their children/mall/acrylic nails/TV/no career stuff is weird.

177. Are you desperate but not serious?

I’m serious but not desperate. But your kisses still do drive me delirious. (Did y’all know one of my friends had a fling with Adam Ant? They still send Christmas cards on occasion.)

178. What was the first movie you got on DVD?

I have no idea. I don’t buy a lot of movies because 1) I think it’s lame for people to buy all these billions of movies that they keep stacked all over their living room and maybe watch once, and 2) I don’t watch that many movies, anyway. I do get a few favorite TV shows, though. I have all the Little House on the Prairie and Felicity episodes, and I’m salivating for the release of Gidget and Beverly Hills 90210.

179. Do guys look good in make up?

Some do.

180. What are 5 things you don't care about?

  • “Must-see” TV and movies
  • Cars
  • Hot nightspots
  • Useless faux-celebrities like Paris Hilton
  • Most sports

181. What “issue” do you think your opinion is so right about that you end up trying to sway others to your point of view?

Gender/women’s rights.

182. What age do you hope to live until?

Until I can no longer function mentally or am in constant pain.

183. Do you like to tie others down during sex? Have you ever been tied down?

Sure, as long as it’s not painful. It only works if you truly trust each other, though. When it’s done because you feel you HAVE to or because your partner is trying to get you to do something you don’t want, then it sucks. Which is why I refused with DumbAss. It’s an exit, not an entrance, fucknut. And no, I DON’T have to do it because you reeeally want to.

184. Do you own any "toys"? Do you ever use them?

Yes and yes. THTM’s gotten me some nice ones over the years. And last summer at the dorms, a bunch of us were discussing various feminist and female issues, and one woman said she didn’t think she’d ever had an orgasm, and so I ended up ordering Rabbits online for everyone on our floor!

185. Do these questions make you uncomfortable?

No, but the thought of Mommy printing up this Blather and letting my Gram read it sure does!

186. You know those ___ for dummies books (COMPTERS FOR DUMMIES, SURFING FOR DUMMIES, GOLF FOR DUMMIES, WICCA FOR DUMMIES)? Which one do you need to read?

Time Management for Dummies. Self-Esteem for Dummies.

187. What do your socks look like?

White, plain and boring. Is that supposed to be deeply revealing?

188. So, which one do you express more, your ID or your SUPEREGO?

Superego, all the way.

189. Do you think that people who are alone and depressed are depressed because they are alone or alone because they are depressed?

It’s a cycle, but I think most people who are alone have made choices in their lives that resulted in their alone-ness.

190. Can you complete any of the following lyrics:

  • I stop and I stare too much, afraid that I care too much...

Oh! That’s… damn. Oh! Depeche Mode, “The Sweetest Perfection.” (Harold, can Dexter sing that in its entirety too?)

  • You're a new and better man, he helps you to understand, he does everything he can, he's....

Doctor Robert! Well, well, well, you’re feeling fine!

  • Took the needles from my arms and put them to the sky...

Huh. I have no idea. *looks up on Google* Moby! I dig Moby, but don’t know most of his lyrics.

  • Top Gun shut down your Firm like Tom Cruise....

*looks up* Busta Rhymes. I’d’ve never guessed that in a million years.

  • Don't you take it so hard now, and please don't take it so bad....

Dunno that one at all, either. Ah. Guns ‘n Roses. No wonder I didn’t know. Fucking HATE.

  • From around the way, born in '73, Harcore B-boy named...

Doesn’t sound like anything I’ll know. *looks up* Easy E. Yup. Wouldn’t know.

  • And this feeling shivers down your spine, Love comes in colors I can't deny....

That sounds vaguely familiar. *looks up* Huh. I don’t like the Pumpkins, generally speaking. I’m guessing I’d know this song if I heard it, though, ‘cos THTM digs the Pumpkins.

  • Before he hung up the phone he took a deep breath, stopped, and replied....

Sounds like a volume of “Trapped in the Closet.” *looks up* Insane Clown Posse? Like I’d know that….

  • When I want you in my arms, when I want you and all your charms, whenever I want you all I have to do is...

Dre-e-e-e-eam, dream dream dream. Oh, I do the harmonies on this one, too. I rule. I was thrilled when The Everley Brothers joined Simon and Garfunkel on tour. I sang every song with ‘em, too. In harmony. The old farts were impressed, I’m sure.

  • Silly games that you were playing, empty words we both were saying...

*yodeling* Say you believe it, say you belieeeeeve it…. I fucking love the Spice Girls. Sporty’s the best!

191. Have you ever been to see a ballet?

Several times. I used to dance it, too. Badly, but still, I was on pointe and everything. Les Sylphides is my favorite, but I haven’t seen that one in person yet. It’s on my List, though. Michael Bourne’s production of Swan Lake was one of the most breathtaking things I’ve ever seen.

192. What is the difference between Satan and Pan?

Essential evil and malice, desire to be God.

193. What should a poem be or do if it is a successful poem?

It should be or mean or do something different each time you read it. See: Dickinson.

194. When you interpret a poem can each line mean anything you want it to?

Author’s intent should always be considered, but from the second an author is done with a work, it can and does take on contextual meanings independent of what the author intended.

195. Are you anal-retentive?

Totally, but THTM is worse. He gets it from his mom. They put post-it notes on everything, and have files for files of files. I tease them both relentlessly about it.

196. What was the last thing you returned to the store?

Two weeks ago I took back a shirt (which I bought without trying on) that didn’t fit right. And I have to send back two pairs of shoes to zappos.com that didn’t fit, too.

197. Is 'no glove, no love' your STRICT policy?

No shit. Although that doesn’t always work, either.

198. What is the best Epic movie?

Lord of the Rings. Wait, does The Godfather count as an epic…?

199. Have you ever had 'missing time'?

Yeah, and it’s scary. During my hardcore Anxiety Period back in My Spring Break in Hades, when I was buried underneath afghans on the couch with the TV on for noise, there are quite a few hours and chunks of days that just slid away.

200. Do you eat too much sugar?

Yup. Not as bad as I used to, now that I gave up the smack- er, the Pepsi.



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